rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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