I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
