Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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