its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up under a house in Key West
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