It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize