i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
