Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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