Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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