i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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