I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize