this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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