I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
