I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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