i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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