dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
