Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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