Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize