omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
