i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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