do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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