Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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