So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
