Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
