I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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