it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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