I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
