it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
