CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
