Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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