I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Terrible idea I love it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
