Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
