His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
