Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize