would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
