bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize