Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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