I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
