I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
