Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
