Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
