just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
