He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She bit a glass in half.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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