i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
