I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
