It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she looked like the before picture.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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