we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
