I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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