Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you win again, gameday.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
