well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
