I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
