I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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