my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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