K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
