Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
