i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i now understand why vodka
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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