Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
