So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think I won the penis lottery.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize