Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
