remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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