he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize