so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
do nipples grow back?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
